Three years ago today I experienced the best day of my life. I woke up at around 7am and spent the next hour checking and replying to emails. At 8am I took a shower and packed a little bag before kissing my daughter goodbye. 9am found me in the waiting room of St. Luke’s hospital in Boise, and the next three hours were pretty intense! At 12:12 pm on April 19th, 2006 John Arthur Haskell was born.
My doctor let me hold him, but only for a few moments, because he wasn’t breathing. The NICU team was already in the room to whisk him away and spend the next several minutes working on him. Eventually a freshly washed, bundled, (and breathing) little boy was returned to me and I was able to spend some time with the little person whom I had been getting to know for the previous 9 months.
I don’t mean to suggest that the day my daughter was born wasn’t a truly joyful occasion–or that the day I was married wasn’t wonderful and memorable–but the day John was born was perfect. I can’t begin to describe to you the elation that comes with bringing a child into the world, not to mention the massive runner’s high you’re on after labor! With Julia I didn’t experience these things as much because I had to undergo an emergency c-section, which meant I held my daughter for the first time an hour and a half after she was born, and I was on so much morphine I could barely stay awake. With John I was entirely present, and had the hospital not had a 24 hour mandatory stay policy, I would have headed home in time for dinner.
Baby John turned three yesterday. When he was born we were still living in Alaska, but to avoid having another c-section, we stayed with my (very gracious) sister and brother-in-law in Boise, and took advantage of the superior medical care. My brother-in-law’s name is John, as is my father’s (whom Baby John was named after), and so to avoid confusion, we dubbed him “Baby” John, and the name has stuck to this day. I’m sure he’ll want to abandon it before he starts dating, but it’s how I’ll always think of him.
When Baby John was about 18 months old, he suddenly became aware of vehicles. We didn’t have any car toys, only having parented a girl to that point, no car-specific movies, or anything that would have really encouraged him in that direction, but overnight he became a car fanatic. “Car” was his first word. He hasn’t really taken interest in anything else since then, and now owns a truly impressive collection of Matchbox cars, car-themed clothing and bedding, and his favorite song on my ipod is (of course) the theme to the movie “Cars” by Sheryl Crowe (“Real Gone”). The collection grows with each birthday and christmas–his most recent acquisitions have been a Lightning McQueen (from the movie “Cars”) comforter and a battery-operated LED Lightning McQueen tshirt. For Christmas I am building him a cabinet to store his cars.
Before I met Baby John, I wondered how I could possibly love another child as much as Julia, unless they happened to be exactly like her. John is her polar opposite, and I absolutely adore him. Julia is my sunshine–bright, constant, irrepressable, and full of cheer. John is my moonlight: a softer, darker gleam. He is sensitive and has a well of emotion that surprises me sometimes. He is also my most affectionate child, never short of hugs or kisses or begging for a lap to curl up on. He will tug at my shirt while I am otherwise occupied, insistently crying “Mama! MAMA!” as though he has something of vital importance to communicate. “What, John?” I finally ask distractedly.
“I love you.”
More than once I’ve had John leave what he’s doing and run up to me to “fix” something for me–my toes are hanging out from under the blanket, or I’ve dropped or can’t reach something. His compassion and awareness of other people reminds me of his father. Also like his father, he has an eye for detail. He’s always the first to notice when his Mamaita’s home-decor changes in some way, or when she’s had her hair done. He also has no concept of the word “quiet”. It’s entirely foreign to him, much to my dismay during sacrament meeting!
One month after John was born, I wrote the following blog post about him:
He’s still incredibly tiny.
He gets really irate if he thinks he’s being ignored.
He’s not happy unless he’s so warm his face turns red.
He will only sleep with the light on.
He starts his “day” at 11pm.
He snores.
No one can make him happy like Mom can.
***
John has definitely outgrown his “tiny” phase. I think he’s the biggest 3 year old I’ve ever seen.
He’s happy to play (not so quietly) on his own, absorbed in his own thoughts, until his affection gauge turns up low, and he races over to the nearest parent to refill.
He was so jealous of his sister’s nightlight that we had to get him his own, even though they share a room.
He’s still a night-owl like his mama, waking up just as it’s time to go to bed.
He still snores.
And no one can make him happy like Mom can.
Happy Birthday, little guy. Ka-chow!
